Story Details

Just Can't Do It: The 6 Deal Breakers In A Relationship

Posted By Xoreflections89 1000 days ago on Dating - As we know all good men/women will have flaws, but some of them are deal breakers. To be with me I don’t asked for much in a relationship, I just asked to be spoiled with a lot of attention. But as I come to learn, that sometimes space is a good thing (as long it doesn’t lead to a break up then I’m good). however, I was asked what are my deal breakers in relationship? Well my deal breakers are what some would consider non-deal breakers, however if the problems doesn’t get fix even after you talk to him about the problem then the issue won’t ever get fixed. What seem like a small disagreement, will easily grow into a major disagreement when the party have no desire to fixed the problem. now these deal breakers are not one sided, both parties are guilty of these actions. But here are my top 6 deal breakers.JealouslyIt seems like when you meet a man, every woman want to talk to him (or at least that what you telling yourself). It like your man is hot stuff, and every woman want to be with him. Yes, it a fact that when a man decides to be in a relationship that when women find him more appealing. And you try to look pass the other women, trying to talk to you because he with you. But after the 50th female your temper start to get tested, and he tried to ensure you that you’re the only woman (and you are the only woman he wants to be with). However, you feel like he is not doing enough to make you feel like the only woman and now every time a woman looks at him you going off on him. At first, he thought your jealously was cute; and it shows that you were only into him. But now your jealously is pushing him away, and he starting to wonder if you the woman for him. I used to be the jealous type, in almost every relationship I was jealous. But in my last situation, my jealously was at an all-time high (I had good reason). But it was after the end of the situation that where I saw the horror of my jealously, and that why is now while I’m on my journey of self that I making sure that I have strong confidence of myself in my next relationship. Because I watched enough “snapped” to know what happen, when you don’t learn to control your jealously.Too ComfortableIt was shown that six months, in a relationship is when a spouse start to get comfortable in a relationship. They feel like since they've got you, then they don’t have to continue to court you. In which you feel the same way, you think that you’re at the point in the relationship where you don’t need flowers every day; and he don’t have to talk nor text you every minute since you know that he will be at home waiting for you. But after three to four months’ pass, you start to get upset. You don’t want the full courting; however, you just want to know that you’re still important in his life and if the love is still there. But now he is lazy, he just feels like since you haven’t said anything before, so why should he make a effort now (but he still loves you and he doesn't want to be with another woman). And he is so comfortable in the relationship where he doesn't even noticed that you're upset. As we saw on “insecure”, we seen what happen when a man no longer make an effort in the relationship. Which lead you to look for another person to appreciate you, but they won’t appreciate you like your spouse appreciate you. So, don’t sit on a ticking bomb tell him how you feel, before it gets to point where it can’t get fixed.Bad Sex (can't dress it up no other way)I’m not ashamed to say that I’m a sexual person, I love sex but I come to learn that I enjoy it more in a committed relationship; and right after he make love to my mind. So, it a must to be with me, that the sex has to be good. but as I notice in all of my relationship, that I had to choose between good sex; or a relationship. So, at the time when I was so desperate to be in a relationship; I choose to be sexually unhappy. Then to top it off he was spiritually dead, right then; and there I knew something had to change in order for me to find what I need in a relationship. Now for awhile you try to look over the sex being bad, you will say to yourself yes the sex is bad but it's not end enough to end the relationship. So, as the months passed and the sex is still bad; and to top it off it has even become routine. Now you feel like you can't tell him anything, because you don't want to hurt his feeling. but the more you keep quiet the months turns into years, which leads you to look for sex elsewhere. People loves to say that sex is not important in the relationship, but will cheat in a heartbeat when the sex is bad. Fruthermore, it time to have that talk it will be a hard conversation to have but if you want to stay with this person then it time to tell the truth.Doesn’t Want Marriage/Kids Since I was a young spirit, I knew that I wanted kids. I even got my kids names pick out (I’m not sharing because you will not steal my children names). As I dance to my 30th birthday, I just knew that I would have a child by now. But as I come to learn, that I’m not in a place to be a mother. However, I know that in a few years (right when I turn 30) that I will be ready to have a child. There are men, and women who believes their life is better without children (I’m not one of those people). But they will fall in love with a person who want to have children, and for a while they dance at the idea that they might want to have children. But come to a realization that, they’re sticking to their first mind which is not to have kids. They just don’t see the point, but you want kids; but you don’t want to lose this person either.  Leading you to have hate in your heart for that person, because you putting your needs on hold for another person. which will lead you to end the relationship, because after a while you will tired of putting your dreams on hold. And seeing them happy, which will eventually make you unhappy. So, before you get in a serious have that talk it never too early to asked a man his 10 years’ goals.Too NeedyAs you know about a Scorpio, when we love someone we love HARD. We don’t trust easily, so when we give you our trust then we’re giving you our heart as well. So, we can come off as needy (I dare a Scorpio to say that they haven’t been needy at least one time in a relationship). however, it not even about your zodiac signs it just there’re some needy ass people in the world. And I was one of them, to keep my attention is a lot of work. Men thinks it easy but trust me, when I say that that it not as easily as it seems. And I when I get bored I move on quickly, so there are times where I can cling more when a person keep my attention longer than I expected. But let me get back to the story, the point is that when a person become to needy they’re basically saying that they don’t trust you (and you done something for them to become needy in their eyesight). when they got to hear your voice every day, and got to be with you 24/7 then it will make you want to end the relationship all because it obvious that this person doesn’t trust you. it nothing wrong with getting a phone call to let that person know that, they’re on your mind. However, when it you have to hear from them every minute on the minute then you becoming way too needy of that person; and it shows that they’re a deeper issue at hand that you’re trying to avoid. Furthermore, don’t call; or text before you pushed them away.Family IssuesSince I been on my journey, I been looking back on why I has so many failed relationships. One of them was the fact I didn’t put my foot down on certain situations. And the fact that I wasn't allowed to meet the family, for years I wouldn’t speak on how this bother me. I put swept it under the rug, because I didn’t want any family drama other than my own family drama. But as I come quick to learn, that if I don’t meet the family then I don’t fully know the man I’m falling in love with. As we all know a family opinions can make, or break your relationship. his/her family don’t like you then, that official deal breaker in your relationship. To think that you can’t come your family, or your spouse can’t go around their family all because they don’t like you make you look at your spouse in a whole new life. Make you wonder if this person even worth losing your family over, and they are wondering the same as well. But you have to understand that when your family want the best for you, then no one is good enough for you in their eyes. They want you with someone, who sees you as a blessing not as a curse. However, you got to know when to leave your family out of your relationship. Sometimes having your family overly involved in your relationship can cause more problems, the problem can be a small issue but your family can make the issue so big to the point where you; and your spouse can break up behind it. So, take your family advice but be cautious of what they’re saying.As we all know that when in a relationship, to know when to throw in the towel. We can crave that love is so strong that no spirits can break it up. But we must know when to just let it go, and move on and found someone that loves you for you. Some relationships can be fix, but it best to know when to let go.That Is All

Submit a Comment

Log in to comment or register here