http://www.amoreunscripted.com - From the time of puberty to now, my opinion on casual sex has done a 360. Hearing my familymembers say, “don’t have sex before marriage,” used to seem like bullshit to me because therewas never a logical or critical explanation to follow their commands; maybe it was because theydidn’t think I would understand, or maybe they just didn’t understand it themselves, but as achild, especially, it is hard to comply with demands when you have no understanding of them.Eventually, I began to dedicate my life to being a devout Christian, so I put a lot of effort intofollowing God’s commandments without argument. At that point, I was practicing celibacy andremaining chaste, but even in my dedication to celibacy, I still lacked a concrete understandingof why I was doing so. Once I left home for college, I began to, again, disregard the expectationfor celibacy since I felt I was “grown.” But my new found, feminist ideology on casual sex stillcame from a dangerous lack of understanding. Now that I am 22 years of age and no longer practiced Christianity (or any religion), my thoughtson fornication are similar to the ideals I grew up hearing; but the difference between then andnow, is that I have multiple clear reasons for being against casual sex. I believe in abstainingfrom casual sex, not because someone told me to, but because I know the effects of it throughdoing research on my own. I am eager to share these reasons with you because it can beapplied to your dating life, improve your mental and physical health, and potentially save youfrom heartbreak. Sex is a sacred spiritual practiced that a lot of people abuse due to a lack ofunderstanding of their spiritual selves and physical bodies. Besides the obvious sexuallytransmitted diseases and single parenthood, there are a few other things that could put yourspiritual, mental, and emotional health in danger… Things that not even a condom can protectyou from. I do not mean to make sex “spooky,” so I will be incorporating scientific data to makemy points concrete.1. Transmission of DNA:You hear a lot of people, including myself, say that sex is a spiritual exchange, but many do notunderstand the scientific reasoning behind it. When a man begins intercourse with a woman, hedrips what we identify as “pre cum”... During sex without a condom or even during oralexchange, his DNA is going inside of the woman... this is even if he “pulls out” before actuallyejaculating. There are studies that show how maternal blood can contain DNA from a woman’sprevious sex partners; It is very much possible for a woman to hold a man’s DNA in her bloodand organs and even pass on bits of DNA to her future children that may not be his! *shutters*Doesn’t that make you feel some type of way?! You have literally bonded in every sense of theword, regardless of if you are still together. Although it is debatable, some people also say thatthe exchange of DNA explains why couples that have been together for a long time begin tolook alike and take on some of the same mannerisms. Even in a spiritual sense, you could betaking on the vibrations of your sexual partner. Religious people call it spirits, and others call itenergy, but no matter what it is called, those negative vibrations your sexual partner isexperiencing or emitting during that season in their life, can affect you as well.2. Emotional Attachment & Soul Bonding:Even with use of a condom, there is a spiritual and emotional binding taking place between thetwo individuals. Although you cannot see this exchange, there is a psychological explanation forthis. When two people engage in intercourse, the woman releases a hormone called oxytocin,which is also known as the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone.” Oxytocin is the hormoneresponsible for a woman bonding and building a relationship with the ones she is close to mostof the time being her child. When a woman’s uterus is expanding during childbirth and when shebreast feeds, she is producing this hormone, which helps build that familiarity between her andher child. However, a woman also secretes this hormone during sex, and it can sometimesbackfire on her. What I mean by that, is the bond between a woman and a man could becomeone sided. A lot of us have been the victim of or witnessed the awkward and embarrassing“what are we?” talk after a sexual encounter. Sometimes the guy is the victim of a one sidedattachment, but MOST of the time the woman is the victim because of the oxytocin hormoneshe has been producing during their sexual encounters.3. Addiction:A few months ago, I saw a video misinforming people on how sex can be used to cure stressand depression; and i’m not going to lie, it bothered me because it contained a lot of dangerousmisconceptions about the relationship between sex and mental health. We are among ageneration that uses sex to fill voids in our lives and stroke our egos, which has caused a lot ofus to become emotionally unstable and depressed. Sex cannot and should not be used todirectly heal an emotional or traumatic wound, such as a break up or having a dysfunctionalrelationship with a parent. Much like smoking weed, sex can be used to temporarily make youfeel good, but the issue will always be there unless faced head on.Attempting to use sex as an emotional band-aid can go from bad to worse if it becomes anaddiction. The addiction comes in with ejaculation... Dopamine is a hormone responsible foremotional responses but when a man ejaculates, he lowers his dopamine levels. Studies showthat those with dopamine deficiencies are more prone to addictions (of any kind). On top of that,dopamine deficiencies are linked to depression, so it should now be obvious that ejaculatingwhen you are depressed would be the wrong thing to do. In a way, sex CAN be used to elevateyour general sense of mental and physical health, but that is only through a practiced known astantric sex. Tantra is a form of yoga that involves contact with an exclusive partner and does notinclude ejaculation onlyorgasms. I must also note that there is a different between ejaculationand an orgasm and men do NOT have to ejaculate in order to achieve an orgasm. Ejaculation issimply when a man’s reproductive system goes through a process to eject sperm/semen fromhis testicles through the urethra of his penis. An orgasm is a feeling that we experience throughour nervous system; some people describe it as a shock wave that goes through your body,some people describe it as an out of body experience, and some people just don’t know how todescribe it.None of us can deny that sex and orgasms feel good, but some of us fall a little weaker tosexual desires once we get a taste of it for the first time. Many people spend much of their livesfalling victim to sexual temptations in order to achieve that feeling, even if they know that theyshouldn't be involved with that particular person at the time.4. Loss of Inner Chi/Energy:When a man ejaculates, he loses more and more of his inner chi. In a spiritual sense, thisenergy (or inner chi) contributes to him living a long and productive life. This explains why mendon’t usually outlive their female counterparts in old age. The chemical reactions that take placeduring ejaculation reduce testosterone levels, as well as create another chemical calleddihydrotestosterone(DHT) (which contributes to hair loss). Testosterone is needed to maintainmuscle mass and bone mass; however, the loss of minerals (like zinc) used to make semen,further deteriorate your bones, muscles, brain cells, and eyesight. Ejaculation also lowers yourlevels of serotonin, which contributes to maintaining a balanced mood, and prolactin, whichcontributes to your ability to become erect. Sure, ejaculating feels good for the moment, butafterwards, you are left feeling drained and depleted of strength and vital hormones andnutrients that are not easily replaced, especially if you have a poor diet. It's VERY NECESSARYfor males to practiced sperm retention because the health risks associated with too muchejaculation are too apparent to ignore.5. Loss of Memory & Clarity:In addition to the energy that a man loses every time he ejaculates, he also lowers hisAcetylcholine levels. Acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter that lowers the heart rate and causesexcitement in the central nervous system also known as the hormone responsible for ourorgasms. Studies have shown that men who ejaculate frequently tend to have lower levels ofAcetylcholine, which is connected to memory lapses and a lack of concentration. Not saying thatthose that are sexually active cannot have a great memory, but those that practice spermretention have an easier time thinking clearly. And if you do not believe me, you can observe foryourself while you abstain from sex.6. Distrust Between Men and Women:Now, the aforementioned effects of casual sex are related to individuals, but what about thehealth of our community as a whole? There is an elephant in the room that needs to beaddressed when it comes to teaching our children about respecting the sacredness of theirbodies and the bodies of others. We always stress to our daughters that their bodies are to betreated as a treasure, but we rarely stress to our sons the same thing. Our men and boys,especially, need to be taught that their bodies are powerful enough to build a nation (throughreproduction) as well as destroy one (through war), so they should always consider their healthin everything they do, including sex.I have a few male friends that practice celibacy and it is amazing to see how different their viewson relationships and interactions with women are in comparison to other men their age. Whenthey think of a woman, they think of her in her entire essence, not just her vagina. The samegoes for celibate women in respect to men. While a celibate individual is dating, they have theopportunity to get to know their counterpart without sex clouding their ability to observe anddiscern the other person’s personality and traits. This intentional practice of self control helpsindividuals to avoid unnecessary heartbreaks and a prevent a domino effect of distrust amongthe men and women in a community in the process of healing.Now, I would like to provide a disclaimer before I come to a close. This is not a writing meant toscare you away from having sex. Sex is a beautiful exchange and has many benefits whenpracticed responsibly and intentionally. My objective is to help more people understand why itwould be in all of our best interest to consider our overall health, as well as the health of oursexual partner(s) before engaging in casual sex or promiscuity. I am not saying that you need tosign a document under the jurisdiction of the government for permission to have sex with theone you love. I am merely encouraging you to be sure that the next person you have sex with issomeone you wouldn’t mind having children with or be permanently bonded to for the rest ofyour life. Unless, of course, you can perform a ritual to break soul ties and have an impeccablediet, I would suggest you choose your sexual partners wisely and practice abstinence everyonce in a while so that you can preserve your overall health.Peace Family!Written By Cande M.