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2022 Father’s Day Gift Guide

Posted By clifhaley 10 days ago on Humor - It’s that time of year again. That time of year when everyone but fathers remember that Father’s Day is coming up. Fathers generally don’t think about Father’s Day because they have so many other pressing concerns on their minds such as trying not to forget Mother’s Day, although it’s now June and Mother’s Day was LAST month I’ve just now learned while researching this article. No wonder my wife has been giving my son and me the cold shoulder, by which I mean we haven’t heard from her since she sped off in the car sobbing weeks ago.

At any rate, even though Father’s Day isn’t generally “top of mind” or “on the radar” for most fathers, they do, nonetheless, “love getting” free things from “just about” anyone, especially useful things like pocket knives, roofing joists, or flamethrowers. This year, with the COVID-19 (or is it Monkeypox?) pandemic mellowing out or raging depending on which news website you read, we find ourselves in interesting times, and interesting times call for interesting Father’s Day gifts. Here are my 2021 picks for Father’s Day gifts in a COVID-19 world, chosen solely based upon the fact that I want them.

80 Hour Horizontal Candle

It’s widely known that former United States president Abraham Lincoln grew up in a simple log cabin, where he read by candlelight. There has never been a better endorsement for reading by candlelight, and with this 80 hour horizontal candle you’ll be able to read so much you might just be an ast……..

3 in 1 Mango Slicer, Peeler and Pit Remover

Have you ever tried peeling a mango? If you have, then reading that sentence probably sent you spiraling into a fit of rage because mangos are a pain in the ass to peel. They are also disgusting inside. Sure, they taste great (just like mango) but they’re so slimy and sticky that peeling a single mango can often leave you covered head to toe in tacky, orange glop attracting flies from miles away. This is why you should never try to peel a mango on public transportation.

Cutting a mango is no easy feat, either. Being so slick, any attempt to slice one usually results in the knife slipping forcefully off the side of the mango causing the mango to shoot off across the room until it lodges itself in sheet rock, because it also still contains a hard pit which is about the size of a golf ball but as dense as a neutron star. This is another reason why you should never bother bringing mangos on public transportation.

Thankfully, now there is a 3 in 1 mango peeler, slicer and pit remover making preparing and consuming mangos on the subway safer than ever! It’s also good at removing gallstones.


You know what really makes a Father happier than anything else in the world? His child’s bright smile? His spouse’s caring attentiveness?  Nope. It’s cured meats.

Butt Face Soap

What father isn’t tired of having to use two bars of soap in the shower? One for his butt and another for his face. This is a bar of face soap with the word “BUTT” printed on it. There is really nothing more I can say here to show how clearly awesome this is. Let’s move on.

Canned Wi-Fi

Desktop Drum Set

Hand Grip Strengthener


Hint, hint.

The post 2022 Father’s Day Gift Guide appeared first on Clif Haley.

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